Dig a big hole. Line it with concrete. Fill it with water. Add chlorine.
Get some tables, chairs, and a BBQ grill.
Add a cute baby or two, along with some happy-looking parents.
Add a large number of extremely loud and enthusiastic children, along with some bored and/or angry-looking parents.
Add an even larger number of extremely hot, overly tanned college-aged people. Dress them only in tiny bikinis (for the women) and much-too-low swim trunks (for the men). Make sure they frequently and brazenly flirt with one another.
Give the men a football. Ensure that they toss it dangerously close to other people.
Give them sunglasses and beer cans. Be sure to refill their hands with more beer cans as they run out.
If desired, give a cigar to one of them, and make sure that he smokes it in the water.
Add plenty of yelling and overly raucous laughter.
Have a couple of highly intoxicated girls fall into the water at some point.
Insert the delicious smell of grilling meat, combined with the occasional, nauseating smell of marijuana (but make sure that the source of marijuana is ambiguous).
Finalize by throwing a couple Band-Aids in the water.
Get some tables, chairs, and a BBQ grill.
Add a cute baby or two, along with some happy-looking parents.
Add a large number of extremely loud and enthusiastic children, along with some bored and/or angry-looking parents.
Add an even larger number of extremely hot, overly tanned college-aged people. Dress them only in tiny bikinis (for the women) and much-too-low swim trunks (for the men). Make sure they frequently and brazenly flirt with one another.
Give the men a football. Ensure that they toss it dangerously close to other people.
Give them sunglasses and beer cans. Be sure to refill their hands with more beer cans as they run out.
If desired, give a cigar to one of them, and make sure that he smokes it in the water.
Add plenty of yelling and overly raucous laughter.
Have a couple of highly intoxicated girls fall into the water at some point.
Insert the delicious smell of grilling meat, combined with the occasional, nauseating smell of marijuana (but make sure that the source of marijuana is ambiguous).
Finalize by throwing a couple Band-Aids in the water.
**********
And that, my friends, is the recipe for an apartment complex pool.
And that, my friends, is the recipe for an apartment complex pool.
(hahahahahaha)
7 comments:
Oh, goodness. Sounds... interesting? At first I was like, "Yay! Pool time!!" And by the end I was like, "Ewwww, I hate people."
Okay, Weston can observe the not-quite-post-adolescent dating & mating rituals of Americanus jerkus. This will give him an edge, perhaps, in his future dealings with the opposite sex. Or, better to frolic at the pool while Americanus jerkus is sleeping it off elsewhere.
Ha ha ha!!! Lisa's comment totally cracked me up. You had me going too! Luckily Weston is too little to notice all the gross stuff. I'm sure he was happy to be out with his mama on a nice, summer day :)
Ahh! I love apartment pool parties! I miss getting contact-high. (just kidding, mom). But I really do miss our pool, minus the bandaids and surprise nipples.
EW. Sounds like a complex pool gone wild! So sorry.
Hilarious! And oh, so true.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wow, I didn't realize that Tulsans partied so hard, man. Time to get a kiddie pool and play on the lawn? Hahahaha.
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