Tim's Campout Report: Murphy's Law Strictly Enforced

For those of you unfamiliar with Murphy's Law, it states that "anything that can go wrong will go wrong." It's not Murphey's Suggestion, Murphey's Guideline, or Murphy's Word-to-the-Wise. It's Murphy's Law. It is with that definition that I preface my report on the Father-Son Campout this last weekend.

To be fair,  not everything went wrong. Only exactly the things that Jean mentioned in her post, and a few more for good measure. In fact, I've been resisting Jean's insistence that I write a blog post about the excursion, lest it turn into a bitter rant about all of the things that were... less than ideal. I wanted to give the scars (both physical and mental) time to heal before I wrote anything. I wanted to catch up on sleep and see if that would improve my outlook on the whole experience. Well, by this point, my outlook is as good as it's going to get, so I guess I'll go ahead and share some of our experiences.

Now, it's been said that "sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt." To which I reply, "yeah, right... I'll bet it is..." (followed by a dismissive roll of my eyes). In that spirit, I am going to break up my report into two lists. The first will mention all of the things I "loved" (the eye-rolling kind) about the trip, and then I'll mention the things that I genuinely enjoyed. I'm going into this without any real planning (and a reluctance to edit afterward), so let's see if Tim's the glass-is-full or glass-is-empty kind of guy.

Things I "Loved"About the Camping Trip
- I loved getting there just after the sun set, so that I could set up my tent in the dark.

- I loved how the last person to use our tent (we lent it to someone last summer, I can't remember whom) put it away inside-out. That made it particularly fun to puzzle out. In the dark.

- I loved how the location selected for camping was the swath carved out under the power lines instead of a real campground. The six-inch-high stumps left over from the small trees and other growth made for a particularly hospitable ground for setting up a tent. And it made it extra fun for Weston to walk around with his little legs. And the lack of dedicated camping space allowed us to set up our tents between our cars.

The camping area on Saturday Morning.

- I loved the brief mention of the forthcoming Cobbler Bake-Off after the central bonfire program. In a culture where punctuality is about as high a priority as alphabetizing one's pencil collection (H before HB, by the way), I assumed that another announcement would be made when the cobbler was actually served. It was not, and by the time Weston and I returned to the site of the Bake-Off (one little stump-clearing step at a time), there was enough cobbler left for one or two people. And Weston and I had been sent to bring enough back for six people.

- I loved how Weston started crying to go home just as it was time to go to bed. Granted, he had never been camping before, so he had no idea what to expect. He was understandably confused, and it was way past his normal bed time. I can understand where he was coming from, but it did not bode well for our night to come.
- I loved how just as I was starting to doze off, a couple of people arrived at the campout and began to set up their tent. Right next to us. At 11:30 at night. Noisily.

- I loved how once our new neighbors got set up, they decided to play some dice game in their tent. I loved how they didn't hush their voices at all. And it was great that they decided that the hands God gave them weren't fit for rolling the dice, but that they needed to roll them in an empty tin can. The resonance of that can as the dice rolled around was especially wonderful for the entire 3 hours that they played.

- I loved that Weston would only sleep if I held him either on my chest or cradled in my arm (I did kind of sincerely like it a little; it was kind of sweet. But I'll get to that in my sincere list). The advantage to this was that I had to lie on my back for it to work. I don't sleep on my back. At all. If I'm ever in a coma --and Jean, this suggestion is probably mostly for you, as I'm not sure how many readers of our blog will be there in the hospital room with me-- but if I'm ever in a coma, just roll me onto my back; I'm fully convinced that I'd just wake up. I simply don't sleep on my  back.

- I loved that every time I tried to adjust to a more comfortable (and sleepable) position, Weston would wake up screaming. "No! I don't yike it! No!" I liked how each yell was accompanied by a kick or a punch. I loved how-- due to the position in which I had to hold him to get him to sleep-- his feet were perfectly lined up with my tenders (as Po from Kung Fu Panda so eloquently puts it). I'm sure our camping neighbors liked it a lot, too.

- I loved only getting about two hours of sleep all night.

Weston (in striped hat) looks for spiders in the grass outside of our tent.

Things I Loved About the Camping Trip
Okay, you've slogged through the bitter mire of sarcasm (or skimmed over it, I don't blame you), and now it's time for the things about the camping trip that I really did enjoy.

- I loved spending time with Weston. With work and other responsibilities, I rarely get to spend that much time with Weston. He's a great kid, and I really love hanging out with him.

- I loved watching him taking in this new experience. He didn't know what to make of all the stars in the sky. At the bonfire, he kept asking "Is that the fire, Daddy?" because we'd never hung out at a bonfire before. He kept asking where the sun went and if the sun was coming up (haha, I was asking the same thing for a while. See above list). A lot of it was so new to him, and it was fun to watch the discovery in his eyes.

- I appreciated the ride that Nate (father) and Wesley (son) gave me and Weston to the campout. This was the first father-son campout for the two of them, and it was fun to share that experience. Weston and Wesley (who is 4) get along really well, and they kept each other busy while we were setting up our tents.

- I appreciated the help that Nate and Kevin (another dad from our ward) lent in setting up the tent in the dark. Once I had puzzled out the whole inside-out thing, they helped a lot in providing light and threading poles through the tent and everything. I couldn't have done that alone.

- I loved holding Weston on my lap by the campfire.

- As much as it hindered my sleep, I kind of liked holding Weston a little bit at night. It was sweet that he wanted to be held; he's not often very cuddly.

- I liked hearing all the coyotes in the middle of the night. There must have been a dozen of them in the woods and fields around us, and it was kind of cool to hear them barking and howling to each other. I bet the suckers who were sleeping missed out on that...

- I loved going on a little walk with him in the morning and discovering about a dozen spiders in webs along the way. I hate spiders, but I loved his enthusiasm as he saw each one. "I have to tell Mommy about the fiders!"

- I loved the brief but rather confusing conversation we had on that walk...
Weston: Look, a snail!
Me: A snail? Where, buddy?
Weston: Snail? Where?
Me: What? You just said you saw a snail.
Weston: Why are you talking about snails, Daddy?
Me: *sigh*...nevermind...

Weston got his very own flashlight for the camping trip. We went through two sets of batteries in one night.

Same flashlight. New batteries.

All in all, it wasn't a terrible trip. In fact, it's probably good that I made a list of all the great things about it. We have begun a tradition that I always treasured growing up and that I hope to perpetuate in the years to come. We were safe and relatively injury-free (Weston did stumble and fall at one point, but that gave him some cool "owies" to talk about... for the next six months...), we were warm enough, and we spent time together.  On top of that, we saw some really cool spiders.

And maybe even a snail.