Honestly, it is AMAZING to me how different the first and second pregnancies are (at least in my case). With Weston, I shopped for baby clothes even before I knew the gender; I started the baby book while I was still in my first trimester; I planned (and stocked) the entire nursery well in advance of his arrival; I wrote constantly in my journal; I tracked the pregnancy with a special pregnancy calendar; I took several childbirth classes; I did my Kegels regularly; I read What to Expect and Your Pregnancy Week by Week religiously, etc.
With this little fella, I have not purchased a SINGLE THING. And I don't really plan to purchase anything, besides disposable items like diapers, wipes, and nursing pads. I'm sure that Weston's old baby clothes will be fine, and I'm not certain that we're even going to buy a double stroller. (It's been over a year since Weston has even used a stroller, and if we really need one at a place like Disneyland, then we'll just rent one.) I haven't started the baby book yet; I haven't made any plans for sleeping arrangements except to assume that the baby will probably share a room with me and Tim for a little while; I've barely written in my journal about this pregnancy; I have no plans to take childbirth classes this time (but I'll probably at least do a hospital maternity tour); I only occasionally (certainly not religiously) read Your Pregnancy Week by Week; and I haven't done Kegels and probably won't... haha!
WHY?? What is wrong with me?? Obviously it's not that I love this baby any less; he is a precious miracle and I absolutely adore feeling him move and wiggle and hiccup inside me. But two things have changed - first, I've done this before! So, I know what to expect, and I know that we already have most of our materials and supplies. Second, we have a toddler this time!!! I don't have the luxury of allowing my life to revolve around my pregnancy, my cravings, my fatigue, my plans, etc. This time, life revolves around Weston, and the new baby (given that he's still pretty manageable in utero) is basically an afterthought. I am almost to the point of being shocked that I have done SO little to prepare for baby's arrival (mentally, I am nowhere near my friend Emily), yet at the same time, I also don't really feel the need to do a whole lot. My main concerns are eventually setting up a place for him to sleep, buying a few packages of newborn diapers, and pulling out the box of Weston's 0-3 month clothes from the closet. It would be nice if these simple things happened before he was born, but really, they can easily just happen when he comes home from the hospital.
Hahahaha! Is there something wrong with me that I am so blase about this whole MASSIVE change in our lives?? I think I'm forgetting what it's like to actually have a newborn baby in the home. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we?
Lots and LOTS of diapers...
Spontaneous crying (thank you, baby blues)...
Tired...
So very tired...
Makeup? What's makeup?...
Oh that shrieking cry...
(...does it EVER stop??)
Sigh. Don't they say that it's immensely harder going from one to two children than from zero to one? YEAH. I can already tell that this is going to be a really, really tough transition. But, then again, people have done it before, right? I guess I'm living proof - I'm my mother's second child, and she's still alive! She even smiles, and quite frequently! I think it will be good to mentally prepare myself a bit more, but even so, I know that we'll adjust and life will go on with two little ones. We'll buy what we need and make all the arrangements (eventually). Really, everything will be just fine......as long as I remember this:
...and this:
...and this:
...and this:
...and this:
...and this:
...and this:
Did you notice that I intentionally selected seven "happy" pictures to balance the seven "scary" pictures? Really, I could've selected a thousand. I may be unprepared and slightly terrified, but I am really, really excited to have this baby in nine more weeks. :-)
17 comments:
Jean, you are anything BUT blase. Like you said, this is your second time around. You have practically everything you need and don't need to to stress! I've heard some people saying going from one kid to two was their hardest transition. Others (like me!) say it's when you go from two to three -- in large part because you run out of hands!! You will be an awesome mama to both of your boys and although there will the natural hiccups of getting used to the new baby routine, you'll be awesome and I'm sure it won't take too long to find your new normal.
Ah, the 2nd child. Poor things. We pretty much ignored CC, aside from my fear and anticipation of C-section #2 and more colic, until she was born as well. I think blase is better than the PANIC I had been anticipating.
I remember thinking, when preggers with #2, that the poor thing was never going to be able to live up to the love I had for Malia.
I was wrong.
So, don't feel bad.
In 10-11 weeks, your blog post will be the opposite, "This baby is getting all my attention and I feel like Weston is being totally ignored!"
Jean, you spoke my mind exactly... and my baby comes in 5 days!!! People keep asking me, "aren't you so ready to be done with this pregnancy?" and I'm like, "NO!!! I'm not!!!" I finally did buy some diapers and binkies and a few things at target this weekend and did get beds for the twins. So I'm definitely more ready than last week, but I'm seriously starting to get a little freaked. I keep wondering if I should brush the dust off my Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, but then I just get tired myself and decide to take a nap. But like you said, it will all be okay. We've done this before. Piece of cake.
Right?
Awww...cute baby pictures Jean, you're a great mom! :^)
You're going to rock two kids. And if it helps at all, know that going from 1 to 2 kids was by FAR the easiest of my three transitions. You know what you're doing, you're already in "kid mode," and I think you'll surprise yourself. There will obviously be adjustments, but that was the easiest one by far.
(going to 3 is STILL kicking my trash... but it still has not been worse than the "holy crap my life is OVER" transition from 0 to 1.)
Oh yes darling.....two is definatley a lot more tricky!! Bucklu up my dear and have a good friend on speed dial (does anyone even have house phones anymore?) for a few meltdowns. Otherwise it is blissful and beautiful. I am sooo thrilled for you girl. I know how badly you have wanted this and you are going to be an awesome ommy to two!!!
Hugs from Pasadena!!
Oh Jean, you are going to do SO great! Word on the street is that the second baby is always way chill and laid back. I'm banking on that for our next one! ;) No but really, you are doing way better than me. I haven't filled anything into Finley's baby book yet and she's my first one! Oh for shame!! haha :) There is no one that I know who I can honestly say would handle two kids as well as you and I totally mean that! You have more patience than anyone I know. You can do it!!! And if you ever need to vent, feel free to call me or email me. :) I'm always here!
ps. Oh my gosh, you looked so amazing in the hospital just after having Weston! I puffed up like a giant puffer fish and my face broke out and looked horrible. And there you are looking all beautiful with zero makeup! :)
Oh man, I think you're normal. You just know that everything will be fine. You have everything. and maybe just as importantly, you know that you didn't even need half of the stuff you got the firs time around anyways.
For me personally, zero to one was WAY harder than one to two. I had no idea what the crap I was doing, how to get this kid to sleep, how to feed him. Second time was way easier. AND, my second baby WAS a lot easier, so that helped. But really, I'd say 40% of it was that I had done it before. Maybe 30. Or 25. But anyways, it definitely helped.
YOU WILL ROCK! :)
It is fine and dandy to change your game plan for Baby #2...I DID. (1) I sent you back to the hospital nursery for the two days I was recovering from post-delivery surgery by telling the nurses firmly, "I love her and we will bond just fine at home." (2) I gave Jimmy a soft-body doll dressed in a onesie to hold when I was holding Baby Jeanie, and (3) I hired a "mothers helper" for two afternoons a week to hold you and watch TV with Jimmy while I napped upstairs. That continued for three months until you slept through the night. Getting that extra rest in the afternoons helped speed my recovery. And I think we bonded quite nicely!
You are going to be fine. I am sure that if anyone can do two kids, it's positive Jean. You are going to do great!
Not to ruin your hope and all the positive comments, but Aubrie is WAY harder than James was. And I had to kiss sleep good bye because James doesn't nap any more, or allow me to do so.
You got this girl! I speak from experience, 2 boys is tough, but loads of fun. Just think of all the crazy fun adventures Weston had, no imagine him towing around a little brother and sharing all his immense wisdom? Fun right?
Certainly cheaper as well :)
p.s. I'm amzed at how much Weston still looks like his baby pictures. Too cute.
Wonderful post, Jean! I can related to SO MUCH of what you said. And it is a HUGE difference going from 1 to 2, but I see you handling it better than I did. (In that I never wanted to leave the house for months if I had to bring both kids...although I HAD to...but never by choice.) You're such a great mommy who plans such fun things for Weston to do, so I know you will get into a routine with both kids. I wish we lived close so that we could just let all of our boys play together and hang out! :( I'll hold out for "someday".
Well Jean just so you know I totally feel the same way, I think we are due around the same day but I do have to admit I am one up on you as far as buying things for the baby...I did buy a binky at target the other day:) ha ha I just dont have any motivation and I kinda feel bad about it! Im hoping that something will kick I'll get on the ball!! Im so excited for you to go to CA, we had a blast...Weston will love it, even though Koop has always loved it, this time was different I think just because he was older?? Also we got our DL tickets pretty cheap, let me know if you need some info.
Jean!!! I LOVE this post! I laughed so much! You are SO CUTE! You are a wonderful wife, mother and friend. I'm so lucky to be your friend! :)
I can't wait to meet little boy #2!
this is a perfect journal entry for baby #2 - obviously you're already an expert multi-tasker so i'd say you're ready. i thought the transition to two was easier because you have less time to dwell! you'll do great, i'm very excited to see more scary and happy pictures.
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