Weston Funnies

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We have a rule in our house that we only throw balls (in an attempt to keep Weston from throwing toys all the time). One day, he came out of his room holding his inflatable orca whale, and he said, "We only throw... SHARKS!" And then he threw the orca at Tim. (Not only is the orca NOT a ball, but it is NOT a shark, either.)

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Weston yelled, "NO! BAD GOOSE!" at Tim one evening. (That's what we tell him to say if the geese come too close while we're feeding them breadcrumbs at the park. I guess it also works on dads, FYI.)

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"Ba-yimp"

(Weston's word for "blimp." He can't say the letter "L," so it sounds like a "Y." Plus, because blimps float in the air like balloons, it has to start with a "ba" sound, just like "balloon." His rules, not mine.)

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Our friend Kelli babysat Weston one evening when I had a church meeting. When Tim got home, Weston ran out to greet him, pointed to his room (where Kelli was), and said, "I have a lady."

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When we told Weston that Santa brings presents at Christmastime, he asked, "A new spatula...?"

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Weston invented a new song. It involves him singing "Guns! Guns! Guns!!" over and over again, very loudly.

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When Tim presented Weston with a couple new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys (Leonardo and Raphael), Weston replied, "NO WAY!!!"

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One time Weston and Tim were running around and playing while Leo (the ninja turtle) was lying on the couch, face down. At one point, Weston started calling for Leo ("Yee-oh! Yee-oh! Are you okay?!"), and then saw him on the couch and said, "He's dead."

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One time Tim was joking with Weston that Tim was going to sit in my chair at the table. Weston said, "That's Mommy's chair!"

So, Tim pointed to the empty fourth chair and said, "Well, whose is that chair?"

Weston said, "The ninja turtles'."

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Last Sunday I said, "Weston, today is Fast Sunday!"

He replied, "No, it's slow Sunday, Mommy."

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"Watch can I can!!!" (Translation: "watch what I can do." We're working on it.)

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When Weston was little, we used to tell him that "Daddy, Mommy, and Weston are a family!" As he got older, we'd feed him the line and let him finish it: "Hey Weston: Daddy, Mommy, and Weston are a...?" "FAMILY!"

The other day, I did that as usual: "Daddy, Mommy, and Weston are a...?"

"Waffle!"

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Sometimes Weston likes to sing along with songs in the car, and other times it enrages him when Tim and I sing. On Sunday, it was enraging him. He said, "No! I don't like that!!!"

I replied, "Weston, singing makes Mommy happy."

He yelled, "No happy!! JUST SAD!!"

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The other day, Weston started running circles around the living room. He said, "I'm running...!"

Tim replied, "Oh, good!"

Weston added, "...like Daddy! Now I'm stinky."