Fun with Poo and Dinosaurs

I'm figuring that my recent lack of blog posts has alienated my readership, so I had to come up with a catchy title for this post. Hence, the mention of poo. And yes, that is also the subject!! Keep reading if you dare.

I've been a little bored of blogging lately (I admit it), but today I considered a few compelling topics:

-The extremely disturbing political situation in Zimbabwe right now. (Sometimes I feel so helpless in regards to fear, injustice, and violence abroad, and it's infuriating.)

-The recent demise of my cell phone. (However, I'm at peace with it, as it was time for my ancient Motorola V220 to pass on. Now I can get a new one, which hopefully won't result in stares and "whoa's" from AT&T store employees.)

-The fact that I have been up to my eyeballs in Mormon pioneer research. Our Stake's youth conference this year (right now, as a matter of fact) is a pioneer trek reenactment with handcarts, bonnets, hard tack, and even fake, flour-sack babies that die in the night. A couple of my calleagues (calling-colleagues... get it? ha) and I have been researching and writing pioneer biographies for the youth to read and study and absorb during their mini-journey. At first all the research was fun, and then it was tedious, and finally it was incredibly moving and emotionally draining. I learned A LOT about the handcart pioneers, and I think I understand sacrifice and faith in a new way now. Click HERE if you want to, also.

-Other miscellaneous topics, like Weston's first trip to the swimming pool, the beautiful weather, and my increasing love of Souplantation (where Tim and I eat almost once a week now, coupon-permitting).

Ultimately, I decided to write about poo. And dinosaurs. But first poo. This morning I was feeding Weston when I heard one of his usual butt-squirts. I continued feeding him (mistake #1), and then upon picking him up off the Boppy, noticed that the entire mid-back-section of his onesie was covered in a growing yellow poo blob. Yep... it was one of those. A leaker-upper. BIG TIME. I quickly dashed him to the changing table, and then tried to figure out how to place him on it without getting poo-stain on the changing mat cover. So, I stood him up and proceeded to unbutton the onesie. Once it was up to his shoulder blades and his back was exposed, I used a massive number of wipes to clean the poo off his back. Then, realizing that I needed a third hand to manage all the poopy wipes, and also realizing that the changing mat cover was inevitably going to be poo-covered, I laid him down on it, set the poo-wipes aside, and then tried to very delicately pull the onesie up over his head. However, my dexterity was apparently faulty (much to my dismay), and rather than slipping the onesie quickly over his head, I managed to slide the poo-onesie right up the back of it. GREAT. Now there are little yellow poo bits all in his hair. So, I stand him up again, grab another handful of wipes, and proceed to wipe the poo bits out of his soft blond hair. As the pile of poopy wipes in the Diaper Genie basin continues to grow, I lay him back down, remove the diaper, and use another 40 wipes to clean his bottom, all the while balancing him precariously on the edge of the changing mat so as to avoid the poo streaks in the middle. Finally, when he is finally de-poo'd, I transfer him to the loveseat, re-diaper him, and then beg him not to roll onto the floor while I clean the changing pad cover, remove it, carry it to the hamper in the hallway, return to the nursery, jam the massive poopy diaper wad into the Diaper Genie (slamming the lid so as to activate Quarantine as quickly as possible), carry his poo-onesie to the bathroom and start to clean it off (and partway through, decide that it is utterly unsalvageable and toss it into the trash), wash my hands twice, return to the nursery, and replace the changing pad cover. Finally, Weston comes back to the changing table, and we proceed with putting on his new outfit. Whew.

All the while, Weston was giving me one of those perfectly contented looks, as if to say, "Don't look at me! You're the one who wanted to become a mommy." Haha... good memories some day. But today, lots and lots of poo.

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, I'll conclude this post with a dino-themed photo story. (A Jean Anderson Joint.) I need to get out more.

Red, the sneaky red dino, silently approaches the baby Weston, completely unbeknownst to the baby, who is calmly enjoying some blankie time...

Red continues to approach the oblivious baby, feeling more confident, and still making no sound whatsoever...

Uh-oh! Suddenly, Red the red dino jumps on the small child (losing his balance momentarily due to the extremely squishy tummy-terrain), and prepares to conquer him!!!

Ha ha ha... that's what you think, Red! I've got a trick or two up my sleeve!! proclaims the baby Weston.

Behold, the infamous slobber attack of the baby Weston!! (Take that, you soft cuddly dino fiend!!) Red is frozen to his spot, helpless against the sudden turning-of-the-tables by the tricky baby Weston.

But wait! The baby Weston pauses and assesses his attacker. ...Maybe you're not so bad there, Red, he thinks. After all, you are delightfully soft, as well as very bold and eye-catching.

Okay, the baby Weston decides. I think we can be friends after all. Here, have some blankie. (And they lived happily ever after, Weston and his loyal buddy Red.)