If You're Ever in Need of a Good Insult...

When Tim and I were in London a couple years ago, we visited Shakespeare's Globe Theater, which, as we all know, is the modern reconstruction of the original Globe Theater. While we were there, we contemplated seeing Othello, but ultimately decided that we didn't feel like standing for two hours in the pit with other sweaty tourists (given that we are cheap-o's and would never spring for the actual seat-seats). So instead, after taking a bunch of pictures outside, we wandered into the gift shop and ultimately decided to purchase a set of Shakespeare-themed magnets.

But, this wasn't any old set of Shakespeare-themed magnets; rather, it was a compilation of some of the best insults in Shakespeare's works. Examining those magnets provided much merriment at the time, and continues to, given that (ironically) we use them to hold up the cute, loving, smiley family photos on our fridge.

For your entertainment (and Shakespearean education for the day), here are some of our faves:

"Your breath first kindled the dead coals of wars..."

"Bolting-hutch of beastliness."

"Out, you green-sickness carrion!"

"Thou smell of mountain goat."

"She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her."

"Thou crusty batch of nature."

"There is not ugly a fiend of hell as thou shalt be..."

"The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes."

"Thou cream-faced loon. Where got'st that goose look?"

"Thou elvish-mark'd abortive, rooting hog."

"Scratching could not make it worse... such a face as yours."

OUCH! Them's fightin' words!!!

So, those are a few options for you, if you're ever in need of a good insult. However, if you're in a tense situation and your mind goes blank, then you could always bite your thumb. That seemed to get people good and riled up back in Romeo's day, too. :-)