[Editor's Note: As you may have noticed, I love lists. Why? Because they're (1) organized; (2) efficient; and (3) easy to read.]
[Editor's Note #2: Is there even such a thing as "super pregnant?" You're pretty much either pregnant or not pregnant, so I guess that it refers more to the size than the degree of pregnancy. In that case, consider me SUPER-SIZE... much like the unnecessarily large McDonald's meal that I most likely just consumed.]
Anyway, here are my top three favorite things about being super pregnant:
(1) The Waddle: When I completely abandon any attempt to maneuver myself like a normal human being and instead embrace my inner penguin (who, unfortunately for me, happens to be a fat, lumpy, awkward penguin, even as penguins go).
(2) The Belly Peek: When, unbeknownst to me, my shirt comes up a little and exposes a small portion of my huge pregnant belly. LOVE IT. (This one is particularly attractive when the visible portion of belly has a few stretch marks on it, too. Bonus!)
(3) The Spread-Leg Bend-Over: When I am forced to pick something up and realize that the cute, dainty, non-pregnant-lady bend-over is an utter impossibility.
Here, by the way, is how to perfect the Spread-Leg Bend-Over:
-Drop something on the floor.
-Sigh loudly.
-Place feet firmly about 3' apart.
-Spread knees to make room for huge belly.
-Bend at the waist, keeping butt as sky-high as possible.
-Groan loudly.
-Grasp item and return to upright position.
-Sigh loudly again (with the option of muttering an obscenity).
:-)
10 comments:
Any signs yet of the can't-fit-into-your-regular-shoes ankle swelling?
This post would be even funnier if you were being at all sarcastic.
Wait....
oh the belly peek. . . love it!
Has your Innie become an Outie? Might as well play this out for humor...this too shall pass.
Oh yes, those are some of my "favorites" as well. Man, not one bit of me misses being pregnant. I wonder if I'll ever want to do it again...
HAHAHAHA. I love it. I start waddling at like 23 weeks... it's just so much easier, man.
Pregnancy and childbirth are so insane. It's like they're simultaneously the most disgusting and beautiful things ever.
My favorite thing about bending over while prego was the fact that I couldn't breathe in that position because all of my insides were being smushed and maneuvered in a way that kept my lungs from functioning. Fun times.
Holy crap! You are less than a month away from your due date. Hooray!
Ha ha ha!!! This post is awesome!! Hang in there! It will all be worth it in the end :)
Wow, that's a lot of restaurants. Hey if your ever visiting PA in the spring or summer I would like to take you to Pizza Time Saloon. They have a HUGE $4.00 Nachos plater during Phillies games, with nacho chips / beef / cheese / beans / tomato's / sour cream / and the green stuff. I think it's great your looking at places to get annual memberships. My memberships this year are Sunday Season Pass Phillies tickets and trout fishing, both with dad. That picture of Katelyn hiding in the bag is really funny. I'm really excited that Chris and Adrienne will be getting married! Your slumber party rules. It looks like your having a great time in Utah.
Being pregnant is so weird. Yeah, it's a miracle, but it's so weird! I use my toes to pick things up when I'm pregnant. And I usually weight if somethings really worth picking up. Somethings are just not worth it.
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